I once had an idea of an "audio movie" where the first scene takes place on the underground trains in airports. Phone call placed within strained marriage, muffled sounds of fellow travelers, computerized train voice announcing the terminal and that "doors are closing." Music by Loscil. Strained does not mean doomed, but I guess in most cases it does. I think there was a pregnancy involved somewhere. I still think "audio drama" could be a really cool idea.

On this specific underground airport train ride I see through to the next train car forward. Two young ladies (mid teens) both with pretty epic highlights and it appears they are making snarks. Snarks against the flight attendants I am sharing the train with, against the dude with the bluetooth headset, against myself.

I arrive at Terminal E and start my speed walk. Terminal E is mostly international flights. I first spy a fairly elaborate black rights/black history display, which was then quickly followed by a massive assortment of puppets from around the world. The last puppet looked incredibly Sesame Street and I glance hard to see if it is from the childhood friend show, but all I can see on the info card due to my quick pace is that its name is "Hippy."

Also of highlight in Terminal E:
-traditional "troll doll" smack dab in the middle of asian things display with gay dragons and such

I made the flight. My sister's family did not. I tried to cause a scene to delay the plane's leaving, but apparently "pushing a man" isn't enough.

Now, deeply entrenched in Island Lifestyle, I realize that with these people (the family) literally nothing in uncertain, except only the dates and times. This scene is so rock solid it sometimes drifts into the realm of too rock solid, but really it's a deep gift. Loose mood, truly. Enjoying the here and now ( BE HERE NOW says Ram Dass) but also able to focus somewhat on other situations.

I want to deal with what is real.
I want to deal with what is real.
I want to deal with what is real.

Mantra'd out, maybe helps. I think my whole life I've been striving year in and year out to get to a more relaxed place, but certain situations will always always make my mind race and cause the true genetic worrier to appear.

Reality Reminder
Many months of true connection and enjoyment that is recently unparalleled.
Positivity and kind treatment based in care and desire for other's happiness.

While I may seem giddy that the project that takes up all the time and makes everything else second is ending soon, I do have a love for it. It does make me realize that I actually loving what I do for a living. Taking that for granted many times. I need to deal with what is real.

We (meaning me and more), as people, look to focus on and spend energy on things that are created in mind (things to worry about, things we don't know about, things we think people think, things we are insecure about), things that are not happening (the romanticized past, the romanticized future, the unfortunate past, the dreaded future), and things that don't matter (stressful minutiae, those without positive and pure intention).

I stood on the east end of Outer Abaco/Hopetown in the Bahamas today. The ocean laid before me. Looking so hard for the next land mass out there, which would be Senegal on the east coast of Africa. I could not see it. It was too far. Instead I saw waves crashing. They did not stop.

I asked.