acting insane, yelling and muttering, uncontrolable crying, bridge burning, accusation hurling, job quitting, job starting, friend hurting, loud blurting, self cleaning.

I think I just read a passive accusation intended for me. I hope it is not true.

I have felt more things in the last three days. When I quit my job and realized I would be OK and there was nothing to worry about and I would have a chilled work at home job that I could do whenever I wanted I felt so free. When I walked out of that restaurant I felt unreal. I felt like I have never felt before. I was running so hard and I didn't want anyone to see me. When I had to make that phone call, I felt so so scared and afraid that I had ruined it for you forever. When I cried and cried I was just so glad that you were there. I think you are the only person who could let me do that. Right now, I feel hurt. I am sorry if you think I am hollow. I am sorry if you do not believ e what I say. I can't really do anything about that.

The theme of these days seems to be that people think that I am insincere. I don't know how to correct that. I don't think it is true.

My eyes still feel heavy and my cheekbones sodden.

I realize I am being dramatic. It probably isn't that way to others, but that is just the way it has played out in front of my clouded vision recently.